Developer: Capcom
Publisher: Capcom
Year: 1986
Rarity: C
Password/Save: No

DESTROY THE ENEMY ARMY! *Yawn* It's you against the world...again. You—Super Joe—have been dropped off in the vast desert to destroy the evil "enemy army".

Your gun has an unlimited number of bullets that travel about a quarter of the screen—half if using a turbo controller. Hopefully one of those bullets will hit one of the dozens of kinds of enemies set out to kill you. Bullets don't work? Try picking up boxes of grenades. And don't forget to eliminate the guards holding your comrades hostage.

Challenge: A–. Are you kidding? Your thumb will probably fall off before you finish this game. Sixteen agonizing levels of "one hit and you're dead" gameplay. And to make things worse, it's just the same four levels repeated four times. Wow, I love playing the same thing over and over again! The screen is usually swarming with dozens of gun soldiers, bullets, and guys running at you with swords and shooting grenade launchers at you. It's suicide to enter battle without a trusty turbo-fire controller in hand.

Graphics: D+. The graphics are pretty corny. Commando also has a serious flicker problem when just a few soldiers on the screen, but it's mainly when trucks and motorcycles are too. The ground is very boring and irritating, only changing from the dull brown color once.

Sound: D+. If memory serves, twelve of the sixteen levels have the same music. I don't know why I can't remember; I just finished playing the blasted game. Anyhow, that is 100% irritating. Cookie-cutter sound effects don't help much either. It's a good thing your TV has a Mute button.

Fun: C–. Well, the graphics suck, the challenge is unbelievable, and the sound is more irritating than Fran Drescher yodeling. With all that said, I don't know why this game is sort of fun—for five minutes.

Overall: D+. A time-waster, to be short. Commando is a game you pull out and play just a few times a year, when you're bored from playing Contra all day. It's nice for a while, but gets boring and repetitive really fast.