Welcome to Jackie Chan's Action Kung Fu, starring the international star of Kung Fu movies, Jackie Chan! Opting not to make a game on any of Jackie's hit films, including ones where he's drunk (drunken kung fu masters were left to Color Dreams to make), Hudson Soft chose to make an intirely NEW adventure for Jackie where he must fight an evil vampire kung-fu lord to save his master and girlfriend. As you can see, Hudson spared no expense in sticking to kung-fu movie tradition by using the exact same plot 268,698,883,180 other kung-fu movies used. Hudson Soft never misses a beat. One could say that Hudson just stick Jackie Chan in a cutesy platformer game to get sales, but that can be disputed by the fact that at the time of its release, no one in the US gave a fuck about Jackie Chan and his name wouldn't help sells in the least, just like how no one gave a fuck about the guy whose name was above the title of Super Off-Road. Will Jackie be able to destroy the evil vampire overlord and save his master, and better yet, will you enjoy helping him do it?


More frog battling action that you can shake a stick at. Kick frogs to get yummy cake!

The graphics are pleasent to the eye, but I want to meet the moron who you could actually convince that the in-game character looks like Jackie Chan in the slightest. The picture at the title screen looks like a wrinkled old hag with no eyes rather than Jackie, and the in-game character is a youthful moron who never stops smiling through the entire game, no matter how many times he gets beaten in the head. The backgrounds are always great to look at and really give you a feel for where you are. Unfortnately, most of the time you don't know WHY you're there. You go from the artic to a summer valley, to a freaking munitions factory in ancient China. Makes sense, doesn't it? Since most of the enemies in the game are pufferfish, frogs, and angry rain clouds, the graphics give you a good sense of just how evil those rain clouds are. Sometimes you'll encounter an angry oriental man with a pitchfork, but one well placed spin kick will make him dissapear into smoke.

Purple-headed, limp-wristed cloud monsters are always a plus.

The gameplay consists of Jackie having to duke it out with mutated animals and angry kung-fu villains to get to the giant temple a long ways away. Jackie lives in a weird place, as in every level the weather is drastically different and the surroundings start getting more advanced. Along the way you can pick up power-ups that allow Jackie to execute the special moves he's most known for, such as: the spin kick, the DOUBLE spin kick, the spin kick in MID-AIR, and the super mid-air somersault of impending DOOM. At the end of each level, you will be subjected to the originality of Hudson Soft programming and face an end of level boss! Each one is a deformed aspect of nature and is something you will never see in a Jackie Chan movie, gurranteed. The only freak of nature in a Jackie Chan movie that I know of is Owen Wilson, whom many claim to be the antichrist. Or is it Chris Tucker? Are assholes drawn to star in movies with Jackie Chan?

"Yeah, I'll jump off a rooftop and fall twenty stories onto concrete, but I'm sure as hell not gonna touch mice."

The music in Jackie Chan's Action Kung-Fu is nice, and never once conveys a sense of urgency. After all, your master and girlfriend have been kidnapped by an evil kung-fu lord, but that's no reason to be concerned and rush, right? Just keep smiling Jackie. It's a sunshine day. The sound FX leave a lot to be desired, as I expect more than a little blip and when I do a super spin kick on an evil frog and it spits cake at me, and doesn't everyone? The evil kung-fu end boss doesn't even have an evil laugh like the one in Kung-Fu, and we all know an evil kung-fu master can't be truly evil without an evil laugh like Mr. X/Soda Popinski/Gannon.

Not every end boss can have an anal luvin attack, and that make be the biggest crime of all.

Jackie Chan's Action Kung Fu is by no means a perfect game. The gameplay is nothing original or outstanding, and it's a longshot that you'll become addicted to it. However, it does have very balanced gameplay, and regular Ace Ebbs will have to devote a little time to it to beat it if they take a liking to it. It's only 6.99 at Funcoland, and it may be worth it based on whether or not you're a big fan of 2D platformers or Jackie Chan. I also recommend checking out Jackie Chan's Stuntmaster, as it's more of a Jackie Chan game than this one can hope to be, even if the graphics bite. Too bad we never got a Michelle Yeoh's Action Kung Fu, but life can't be all good. In the spirit of Jackie's movies where he shows bloopers and stunts at the end, I present to you some pictures from the credits of the game, with Jackie in awkward poses after seriously damaging his spine.

-BkdTatrHrt
3/30/2001