Out of the Closet.
Spring is once again upon us, and we all know what that means. Spring cleaning. Today, we will be looking what i found in my closet whilst cleaning it out. If you visit my site *cheapplug*LameNES*cheapplug* you know that Jimmy Lee has been outed. Now then, let us continue on and take a look at 10 more NES characters who are gay
 

10. Spelunker - Just the name gives him away. I'm not sure he even tried to hide himself very well. And besides, check out all the phallic imagery in this screen shot. The key, the stalactites, the white red and green thing, the sack. It's all there, waiting to be noticed.


9. Waldo -  The bespectacled nerd. We all knew this back in the day, but no one said a thing. No straight man would ever wear red and white stripes all the time. And there must be a hidden significance to him walking into a cave.

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8. Michael J. Fox - .From Family Ties to Spin City, Michael J. Fox has always struggled to act the roles of straight men. Here, in his first Back to the Future video game, we see why. Mike spots a manly hunk of a man, complete with cool 80s shades and a pink tank top. Mr. Fox's urges are so strong, that he can do nothing but throw himself  upon the stranger and start grabbing fiercely at whatever body parts he can grasp.
 

7. Poseur Pete - He's a fat old guy with a purple mohawk hanging around little skater boys. What more proof do you need. That's right, Pete, "Semper Fi or die." Just remember "Don't ask, don't tell" and everything should be ok

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6. Ring King Corner Boys - They're farmboys with a penchant for relaxing boxers in between rounds of prize fights. The pictures pretty much say it all. Nothing to see here, let's move along.


5. Chief Coralcola - I would be afraid if Chief C. was waiting for me. We all know exactly what kind of "friends" he and your uncle are. Rice-a-Roni isn't the only San Francisco treat they share. Also, have you wondered why, despite being a man, he wears a grass skirt? Two words. Easy Access.
 

4. This guy from Dragon Warrior 2 - First the obvious. Any man who comments on another man's look this way is not a heterosexual. Secondly, it is a little known fact that originally he said "Thou art hung like an ox, and twice as good looking." That version was censored to what we see here. Secondly, what could be his motive for talking to you? To stall you, and keep you from rescuing the princess so he can have you all to himself.
 

     

3. Woodstock - Yes, Woodstock has spent all these years following Snoopy, waiting to get himself a piece of tender doggy tail. So when his chance arises in Snoopy Silly Sports, he seizes the day. Note how he stalks Snoopy, he won't even know what hit him. And once he does, Snoopy doesn't look very pleased.
 

2. Foot Soldiers - These guys could not wait to sneak up on the turtles from behind for some hot manlove action. It also wasn't unusual for them to turn things into a three-way. All this sodomy got to the turtles, who were last seen in 1995 checking themselves in to Charter Mental Hospital. They have not been heard from since.
 

1. Toad - One look at Toad, and we all knew. Yes, he hung around the princess, but we knew better. The vest, the shoes, the gay jumping. We knew Toad was one of the girls at Toadstool's slumber parties. In fact, here is a secret transcript from one such slumber party in 1993. Toad:"Girlfriend, if he don't be treatin' you no better then i say dump that zero and get yourself a hero. 'Cause if you don't look out for yourself, no one else will. Could you be a dear and pass the the Tropical Mango-Cloud Nail Polish?"



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