The PaNESian Press -- Amagon

   No, I'm not ready. Time to go cover my ass in ranch dressing and listen to Limp Bizkit.
<OSG> <Limp Bizkit> How many times can we say "rollin'" without sucking?
<OSG> <OSG> 0

   Thank God I'm on this log or those ruthless meat-eating seahorses would devour me alive. But, thanks to the log, they fly right over my head without me having to fire a single shot.

   Crouching in anticipation, ready to strike with a lethal uppercut...

   ...there it is. You can see Alligator Guy screaming in agony becuase he just got beaten my Megagon, the world's strongest homosexual Marine. If he doesn't die on landing, shame will lead to suicide. And that's the boss.

   Here we are at 3-2. Just one more boss to complete before heading out of the "Big River."

   I normally look behind waterfalls for eyes shooting blueberry Jello™, so this time was no exception. Attacking the eyes reveals a much spookier character to beat... (cough)

   Once again, what you see is what you get. Why didn't American Sammy pay some programmers to come up with some non-gay characters in this game? Anyway, Mr. Hippo was no match for Megagon. A few beams later, he dissolves and we get the hell out of the river.

   Meh, it's not so dark. And as an added tip, I'm told to be careful! Don't let Sammy's subtle warnings fool you; they really help.
* Correct semicolon use not copyright © Rhett Whitley.

   Rabid mice, eh? Fuck them. I've got it covered.

   The boss on this level are a swarm of decapitated heads that can walk. They can also shoot some beams or something. They're one hit kills, so as long as they don't take the behind route even Amagon can pass this without too much difficulty.

   It's clear that proper grammar isn't a habit at American Sammy. Even on their website.

   That decapitated head hates me enough to shoot flames at me. Fuck him.

   As you can see, the mere sight of that skeleton monster sent me fleeing in panic and terror.

   Then I regain my composure and finish off yet another boss as I send bones flying off the screen.

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		No, I'm not ready. Time to go cover my ass in ranch dressing and listen to Limp Bizkit. <OSG> <Limp Bizkit> How many times can we say "rollin'" without sucking? <OSG> <OSG> 0
		Thank God I'm on this log or those ruthless meat-eating seahorses would devour me alive. But, thanks to the log, they fly right over my head without me having to fire a single shot.
		Crouching in anticipation, ready to strike with a lethal uppercut...
		...there it is. You can see Alligator Guy screaming in agony becuase he just got beaten my Megagon, the world's strongest homosexual Marine. If he doesn't die on landing, shame will lead to suicide. And that's the boss.

		Here we are at 3-2. Just one more boss to complete before heading out of the "Big River."
		I normally look behind waterfalls for eyes shooting blueberry Jello™, so this time was no exception. Attacking the eyes reveals a much spookier character to beat... (cough)
		Once again, what you see is what you get. Why didn't American Sammy pay some programmers to come up with some non-gay characters in this game? Anyway, Mr. Hippo was no match for Megagon. A few beams later, he dissolves and we get the hell out of the river.

		Meh, it's not so dark. And as an added tip, I'm told to be careful! Don't let Sammy's subtle warnings fool you; they really help. * Correct semicolon use not copyright © Rhett Whitley.
		Rabid mice, eh? Fuck them. I've got it covered.
		The boss on this level are a swarm of decapitated heads that can walk. They can also shoot some beams or something. They're one hit kills, so as long as they don't take the behind route even Amagon can pass this without too much difficulty.

		It's clear that proper grammar isn't a habit at American Sammy. Even on their website.
		That decapitated head hates me enough to shoot flames at me. Fuck him.
		As you can see, the mere sight of that skeleton monster sent me fleeing in panic and terror.
		Then I regain my composure and finish off yet another boss as I send bones flying off the screen.